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Starting Draft 5 of the memoir after life-altering feedback from an agent

Here we are, one week into November. The sun now sets at five in my neck of the woods, and most of my days are filled with paid work. As I’ve mentioned previously, I’m now working 50 hours a week, which is the most I’ve worked since the early days of the pandemic. And somehow, I seem to be doing okay with my three jobs (one of which will end at Christmas). I was a little worried about the endurance of my mental and physical health during the first couple of weeks of this juggling, but this week seems to be a turning point…for a couple of reasons.

As you can see from this week’s title, I am once again revising my memoir manuscript. I really, really didn’t want to touch it for awhile—not since July, in fact—but an email I got from a literary agent this week changed my perspective and gave me renewed hope and energy for this book project. Here is the message I got on Monday the 3rd, copied from my inbox:

Hi Jenny,

Thank you for thinking of me for your memoir. You were definitely right that your memoir is up my alley, in terms of your (incredibly strong!) writing, the setting, and the subject matter. I felt immediately connected to you and your story. I really wanted to totally fall in love with the book, but I have to be honest that I’m worried the structure might be difficult. The dual timelines were at first jarring (I think because of first and third person), then I settled into it, but as the book goes on, I found there were slow moments in the present and then also a sort of disjointedness in the past. I kept reading and reading, hoping my thoughts would change or I’d have confident ideas about revision, but I couldn’t totally get there. I’m really sorry. But I will say I loved what I read and if you ever find yourself with a revised manuscript, I’d be thrilled to read it. In any case, I was so glad to be introduced to your work and I’ll be rooting for your memoir from the sidelines.

My very best wishes,

Xxxx

I saw this at about 10 p.m. that night, and when I first read it, I wanted to crawl on the floor and throw a tantrum. My ego, as it always does, reacted first: Why didn’t she just say yes?! This means I have to revise this book AGAIN, are you kidding me?!! Then, I sat with my feelings for a few minutes. I read her message again, and I realized what she was saying: I loved what I read and if you ever find yourself with a revised manuscript, I’d be thrilled to read it.

The door is open, my friends. It’s only slightly ajar for now, but it’s OPEN, and it’s a New York door. This is the closest I’ve gotten to making my book a real thing in the world, and it feels like the next step in this long journey. All I have to do is dig in a little deeper, write a little longer.

I’ve already written four versions of this book. What’s one more?

I made a point of responding to this very generous message the next day, after I had some time to process it:

Hi Xxxx,

Thank you so very much for taking the time to read my full manuscript--that alone is quite an honor, and you’re the first agent I’ve queried who has done so. I really appreciate your detailed feedback too, and I understand your struggle with the POV shifts...the more I’ve thought about that, the more I’ve realized the payoff I thought that technique would have at the end didn’t really hold up.

I very much appreciate that you’d be willing to read a revised draft when I have one ready, so I’m going to return to this project with a fresh perspective and try a more straightforward narrative. I’m questioning with more curiosity now, given our current political situation, how I managed to thrive and find community in Beijing, and I think I want to push this aspect of the memoir a little more. I’m noticing some interesting parallels in today’s America vs. 2018 and 2019’s China, and I want to try to capture that in my book somehow.

When I have a full revision ready, I will certainly send it to you! Thank you for believing in me and keeping the proverbial door open.

Take care,

Jenny R.

On the same day, just a few hours later, the agent responded with another clear message:

What a kind note! I did understand the inclination for the POV shifts — wanting immediacy with 1^st and distance with the 3rd, almost as flashbacks, but I think it’s difficult for the reader to make the leap. I also think I wanted more from the flashbacks; they left a lot of holes in the backstory, which is important to fully appreciate your current life in Beijing. I like your ideas about a new draft and yes, please do send when you’re ready! Door is always open. Best of luck in the meantime.

The door is always open. This is such a rare gift from an agent, and it tells me that she’s rooting for me and genuinely wants to sell this book when it’s ready. I owe myself the very best book I can write, and I understand this now.

Even with this glimmer of hope and encouragement, the publishing industry is still brutal, and that’s why I want to be so transparent with you about my journey to a book deal. I’m stumbling through this long process one day at a time, and I hope it’s interesting for those of you reading me each week.

Now that I have a clear motive to write again, I’m setting this goal for myself for 2026:

Image description: A photo of a virtual sticky note in the upper right corner of my laptop screen, which says “Gate Mouth (working book title), 2026: 2 pages a day, five days a week (Monday-Friday); in 20 weeks (from mid-November 2025): 200 pages; Goal: a finished manuscript by the end of April 2026 (also when Uranus leaves Taurus…there since May ‘18).” This last bit of information felt significant to me when I read it on Jeanna Kadlec’s Substack last week because the spring of 2018 was when I divorced and started the process of moving to Beijing.

I’m declaring this now to hold myself accountable to y’all: I’m revising my memoir, and I’m going to submit the revised draft to this agent I’m in correspondence with in the spring of 2026. I hope you’ll join me on this crazy ride!

In addition to developing a writing practice again, I’m also trying to take better care of my body: more water, more exercise, more sunlight. My early days of this journey will probably be the subject of next week’s post, so more on all that, soon.

In the meantime, thank you for being here, and I hope you find ways to care for and inspire yourself, too.

Back Desk Questions:

• What motivates you to keep writing (or return to writing?)

• How do you plan to care for yourself as this year wraps up and a new year approaches?

• What are you reading these days that inspires you to write or otherwise create?